Snow
by corny sloth
Summary: “I don’t hate you, you know?” She says, and he almost doesn’t hear her, words lost in the wind. LilyJames. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter, names, characters and indicia are solely JK Rowling's. I do not take credit for anything you recognize in this story.

-&-

_7__th__ year_

She lets out a deep breath, watching it fog up in front of her face, the cold air whipping through her hair.

"I don't hate you, you know?" She says, and he almost doesn't hear her, words lost in the wind.

He chuckles softly and rubs his hands together, his eyes bright and hers dark, and her lips rubbed red and cheeks flushed. "I find that hard to believe," He replies and there's a tight wistfulness in his voice that almost breaks her heart.

"You're just mildly annoying sometimes," Her bland attempt at softening the mood doesn't quite work, and his face is set of stone as he shifts closer to her almost inconspicuously and she could almost feel his body heat in the cold.

"So are you."

-&-

_5__th__ year_

"I said I was sorry, Evans!"

"I don't want your apologies, Potter!" She bit back at him, blinking back unnecessary tears, and there was a knot in her throat she couldn't swallow. "I don't care if you're sorry! Your apologies don't mean anything. Just go back to your friends," She whispered and he grabbed her wrist as she tried to walk away from him.

She didn't pull back so much she was surprised by his move, but just stood there, watching him unblinkingly.

"Just hear me out for a second, please," He muttered and she still couldn't move, although she had enough common sense to pull her wrist out of his grip. "I really didn't mean to humiliate you, or Sniv- I mean, Snape. I just – I just really... I really..." He trailed off and swallowed, and she just continued to watch him with raised eyebrows. "Just go out with me, okay? Please?" He begged and for a brief second, her heart softened and she couldn't look at his face.

But it was only for a second, and then she scowled and shook her head. "You're a child, Potter. And I can't go out with a child," She said, and then she was walking away, missing the completely crestfallen look on his face, and the sound of his heart breaking in his chest.

-&-

_7__th__ year_

"I'm not annoying!" She retorts indignantly, although a small smile lingers on her lips, but his face is as stiff as ever.

"You're right, you're not annoying. You're rude and cynical, and you broke my heart, Lily." He finally replies and his voice breaks _her_ heart.

She looks away from his face, onto the snowy grounds, and thinks he's not serious, she didn't break his heart, he was a liar, he doesn't care, and yet the look on his face is making funny knots in her stomach and her heart beat a million times faster.

"I never meant to."

-&-

_5__th__ year_

"James Potter is going to ask you out."

She looked up from her homework into the pale face of Severus Snape, raising her eyebrows at his accusing tone, and her heart suddenly beating a repetitive tattoo against her chest.

"Excuse me?" She said as Severus takes a seat opposite her in the Library.

"I overheard Potter and his friends talking," Severus explained.

"Overheard? You mean you were eavesdropping? She accused him and he had the sense to look mildly embarrassed.

"I don't trust those boys!" He tried to explain. "They're obviously up to something –" He continued but she cut across him.

"That's not the point. It's rude, Sev. And about Potter fancying me, that's hardly any of my interest," She said, ignoring the tightening in her stomach.

"So you don't like him?" He asked, almost hopefully and she looks down onto her homework and swallows, avoiding his eager eyes.

"Of course not. James Potter is rude and obnoxious. I hate him."

-&-

_7__th__ year_

"It was because of Snape, wasn't it?" He finally says, and her gaze snaps back to him. "You like him, don't you?"

She's taken aback from what he says and for a moment, she's lost for words. "I – I – what – no – I don't, how dare you –"

He chuckles and his boyish grin melts her heart. "I don't like Severus. I might have, once...but not anymore." She finally says and he nods slowly, brushing a snowflake from her cheek, his fingers lingering only a second too long, and she hasn't noticed how close he has gotten.

"But he loves you, doesn't he? Might always will..." He trails off, and she thinks the expression he's wearing is almost pained.

"Do _you_?"

-&-

_6__th__ year_

"I _love_ you!"

She grinned as Mary ran up and hugged her tightly, thanking her for the Christmas present she always wanted, and she could almost feel James Potter's eyes burning a hole in the back of her head.

She turned around and caught his gaze and he didn't even look embarrassed at being caught staring. He smiled almost imperceptibly, and she couldn't look away from his face.

"_Lily_!" The sound of her name snapped her out of her trance and she looked back at Mary and smiled, taking her present from her friend, and brushing away the image of his burning eyes.

Later, when the fire had died down and everyone had gone to bed, he came and sat by her side, setting a plate of cookies between them.

She looked at him, her eyes wide and questioning and he smiled softly.

"Merry Christmas."

-&-

_7__th__ year_

"No, I don't love you," He replies and she can't explain the sadness that washes over her. "I don't even know you, Lily."

"Do you want to?" She asks and he frowns.

"Do I want to what?" He asks and she takes a step forward, the tip of their shoes touching, their chest moving at the same rhythm.

"Love me? Know me? Hug me? Kiss me? Marry me?"

He smiles softly. "Can I start with one thing?"

Her heart beats madly and thoughts of - this is it, he's going to, he's going to kiss me - run wildly through her head and her tongue is parched as he takes a step closer to her. "What's that?" She breathes, and his smile makes her heart swell to an abnormal size in her chest.

"I want to hug you."

-&-

_6__th__ year_

His lips touched hers and she thought it wasn't too bad, and his hands slid down her waist, holding her closer to his body, every line pressed against his.

He pulled away for breath, and whispered, "You're so pretty, Lily." She smiled and yet she was mortified because she could see Potter from the top of the boy's shoulder, standing shock still, an unidentified look of horror on his face.

She quickly pulled away from the boy, and for a second as she watched Potter walk away, she almost went after him. But then common sense returned, and she turned back to the boy and smiled apologetically, telling him she just remembered an unfinished essay, and she ran away, not giving him a chance to retort.

Later at dinner, Potter was sitting a few seats away, playing with his food and she couldn't explain the guilt gnawing at her chest.

His eyes caught hers and she took a deep breath and held his gaze, but he didn't, instead pushed his plate and got up, ignoring his friends calling him back, and then he made his way towards _her_ and her heart beat madly against her chest.

He stood in front of her, his face unreadable.

"Can I join you?"

-&-

_7__th__ year_

He doesn't give her a chance to react, instead wraps her up in his arms, feeling every sinew of her form, running his hands down her back, through her hair, across her face, and she almost wants to cry.

He is so warm and he is kissing the top of her head, and her forehead and her nose and her cheeks and her eyes, and she is turning into a pile of mush in his arms, the only thing she's capable of doing is holding on to him, holding on for dear life.

His lips finally reach hers and he suddenly stops, not moving at all, only touching his lips to hers and she has never felt so connected to anyone in her life.

"In order to marry you, I have to love you, and to love you I have to know you, and to know you I have to kiss you, and to kiss you I have to hug you."

Nonsense, complete nonsense to her ears. She can't pay attention to what he's saying, not when his lips and tongue kept brushing against hers, not when his cold hands were sliding beneath her shirt, pressing against the small of her back, not when the delicious smell of soap and grass and _snow_ were filling her nose.

-&-

_5__th__ year_

"That boy is _so_ annoying," Lily Evans was complaining, as she furiously crossed out a line of her essay. "How _dares_ he accuse me of – of taking part, in completely, _completely_ illicit activities with Severus –"

Mary chuckled, cutting off the redhead's angry tirade. "Illicit activities? Honestly Lily, he only asked if the reason you were late for class was because you were snogging Snape."

Lily growled. "_Pompous, egotistical toerag._ I hate his bloody guts."

Mary shook her heard amusedly, and smiled. "Actually, I do believe you two will be married someday."

Lily scowled. "Over my dead body."

-fin-

**A/N: ** For once, I'm actually really pleased with how this story turned out. So this is my Christmas present to you guys! I hope you like it. Reviews make lovely Christmas presents as well, so leave loads!  
Merry Christmas everyone!


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